But I’m finding as I get older, that doing sock/shoe, sock/shoe results in less bending at the waist, thus fewer groans.

Shoes do not have a left or right order for me, just depends on which one ends up in my clutches first.

Now the only monkey wrench is if I only pulled one sock out of the dresser drawer when setting out my duds. The dilemma at this point is:

1. Do I abandon all dressing operations until I retrieve the second sock from the drawer or…
2. Do I apply the one sock and the corresponding shoe before the retrieval process?

This is the kind of shit I waste brain cycles on replying to when reading articles from this site.

However a little story from my radio days in Panama City. When I was working for WPFM/WWWQ, a sandwich shop on the beach which had a long running advertising relationship with the station wanted a new ad highlighting their newest sandwich named after the owner whose first name was Richard.

Yeah, I see you getting ahead of me, but it’s a little better than that.

He wanted, in all sincerity and very naively, to have the announced refer to the sandwich as “the Big Dick sandwich on pita bread.” When the station’s GM informed him they really couldn’t go that far (this was the early 80′s and Panama City was much more conservative back then) and explained to Richard why, Richard was honestly shocked for he did not realize the sexual connotations involved. Apparently they got a good laugh about it, Richard changed the name of the sandwich and got his ad aired sans the sexual innuendo.