Yeah, yeah, I know. I shouldn’t be making fun of the disadvantaged & mentally deficient folks at Goodwill. And in fact, I’m not going to.

I’m not gonna say one word about the smelly retards who stock the shelves of your local stores with junk you weren’t able to pawn off on your neighbors at your last yard sale. Why? Not because of any ethical reasons, but because they didn’t design this sign.

This giant canvas trash bag was hung over the gas pumps at an old gas station now being used as a Goodwill drop-off point. (I wonder if, when I pull up with a trunk full of stuff that just slightly too good to go straight to the dumpster, if the bell will still go “ding-ding” when I drive over the pressurized rubber hose bolted to the ground…)

It’s just simple subject/verb agreement. It’s easy. Look, just write it out longform correctly and then omit the unnecessary stuff:

“Donations are equal to jobs.”

“Donations are equal to jobs.”

Notice how I didn’t stupidly say, “Donations are equals to jobs,” did I? Yet somehow that was correct enough to print on a jumbo canvas gas pump cover and display less than six blocks from the Florida state capitol where laws are made. I feel better already.

Hey, look!  More English ignorance on public display!  Sweet!  Saw this magnetic sign on the door of a car parked outside one of my favorite local eateries.

So I’ve blurred out the phone number.  Not out of respect to keep Travis Hood from getting prank phone calls, but on the off chance that they may make even one extra dollar from me posting their stupidity here if you happen to be looking for a puppy.
Everybody needs a dream puppy, right, but better yet is if you can get me multiple dream “puppys!”  C’mon, Travis!  Is it not enough that you thought you could erase the spots from the 101 Dalmations dogs and fool the world into thinking they’re your original artwork?

And to top it off, some schmuck at the Acme Magnetic Sign Emporium had to sign off on this artwork before filling Travis’ order.  Please, oh, please I hope somebody tried to correct him and was just told, “No, no.  That’s how we want it spelled.”  I hope the fine folks at AMSE didn’t just let this slide.

Ugh.  Here’s yet another example of a public display of ignorance.  You know, sometimes I wish I didn’t have such a firm grasp on the English language so maybe these things wouldn’t bother me.

But instead, grammatical errors seem to draw my eye and flash like a neon sign.

I saw this one on vacation in an arcade posted on a change machine.  Apparently the new frameless-portrait $20 bills wouldn’t work in the machine, so they were alerting you that the machine would only “accept” the older style bill.

But rather, the scribbled sign with two photocopied bills pointed out that it would only “except” the one pictured.

Yes, I know I’m an anal grammar nazi, but when you get it wrong and it changes the meaning, then it’s even more wrong!  Does that mean it won’t accept the bill because that’s an exception?  Or that except for the type pictured no others will be accepted?  Sigh.